(Originally published in The Albatross, Vol. 37 No. 3, January – February 1992) 

What is a Real Bird Watcher?
Barb Sharfenstein's Bird Watcher Round-up

 A real bird watcher wants to be called a "Birder."

 A real birder scuffs up his new binoculars so he won't look like a beginner.

 A real birder doesn't wear tennis shoes.

 A real birder knows that one good "tern" does not necessarily deserve another.

 A real birder would rather slosh through a marsh at dawn than sit on a sunny beach in Hawaii.

 A real birder does not wear designer jeans.

 A real birder does not eat geese, ducks, or turkeys.

 A real birder can talk about Yellow-bellied Sapsuckers and Bushtits and keep a straight face.

 A real birder does not heat the water in the birdbath in the yard.

 A real birder does not carry three field guides, two pairs of binoculars, a scope and a tripod on trips. He lets others do that and then borrows them.

 A real birder doesn't get sick on pelagic trips.

 A real birder keeps his or her life list in INK.

 A real birder knows that a "rare" bird is any bird not on his or her life list.

 A real birder will admit that birding is an obsession and that he/she doesn't want to be cured.

 A real birder is "for the birds."

 A real birder is not afraid to "pish" in public.